Walking into the office today, I actually felt pretty good about myself and the work I do here at your friendly neighborhood cable company. But after reading The Wall Street Journal this morning, I suddenly feel like the dirty, destructive, dangerous, evil criminal I apparently am. Yes, according to an opinion piece in the WSJ, I shill for “the most pernicious monopoly in America.” And all this time I innocently thought we simply delivered entertainment and communications services. Silly insidious me.

Of course, the message that I am pernicious was delivered by a lobbyist—or, I should say, “senior adviser”—for AT&T. Yes, the same AT&T whose financial prospects are exponentially improved by passage of the statewide video franchises heralded in this exposé of the evil cable guys. The same AT&T whose logo should be drawn in the margin beside the dictionary definition of “monopoly.” The same AT&T that’s essentially the Humpty Dumpty of today’s American economy (all the king’s horses and all the king’s men are certainly trying to put it back together again—the “it” being Ma Bell, inarguably one of the largest monopolies ever). But if a “senior adviser” to AT&T declares that Cable is the monopolistic devil and the offspring of Ma Bell the valiant knights of communications commerce, then surely it is thus. I’m so thankful we cleared that up.